That’s become the rallying-cry of those who think the Supreme Court stole the rights of trans people when it held in For Women Scotland that sex in the Equality Act bears its natural, biological meaning.
Given that trans overlaps overwhelmingly with autism, which can have some notable blind spots even with high IQ, I have seen it said, and it seems true, that if no one says anything, these guys actually think that everyone thought they were women. So y'know if any of my three 6 footer ASD/ADHD wonderful sons decided they were women, it would be my painful parental duty, and we know they wouldn't like it, to tell them that no one will ever ever think they are "really" women, in my best attempt to save them from a lifetime of confusion and potential legal and surgical horrors in pursuit of the impossible. And I would tell them to stay out of womens' spaces. In these situations cruelty and kindness swap places a bit because of the awful consequences for the guys. So parents tell your boys, nicely, but tell them, it;s your job. Thanks
I don't disagree but it is not parents job to fight the rest of society alone. There are no "allies" for non affirming parents- not in the NHS, schools universities, unions, employment or charities. None. A lot of the time parents are actually fighting schools who are affirming without their knowledge until damage is done. The internet is a nightmare for parents as it is. If you voted anything other than Tory/Reform last time, you voted for Trans rights - sorry but it's true. . Most people have no clue how hard it is to get ASD out of this rabbit hole and most of the ASD sector is "rainbow friendly". Employers sign up to Pride month like it's a religion. People clam up when non affirming is mentioned and they isolate parents who don't affirm. GPs prescribe hormones with no real understanding of the future health impact. Universities have funds for LGBTQ counselling and binders etc. Teens are encouraged to cut parents off completely of they don't affirm so you are asking parents to face the loss of their child with no support from wider society. If you want non affirming parents to have a voice then there needs to be support for them. There is none.
And as a slogan, Protect the Dolls is very revealing. It reveals its sissy porn foundations, that these men want to be seen as sexually embellished objects to be objectified, humiliated, abused and f***ed by other men. The meaning of Protect the Dolls is articulated best by Andrea Long Chu.
I'm with you 100% Naomi. I'm not polite when I talk about this any more and no woman would have felt bad telling men they were in the wrong place 10 or 15 years ago. It really is pretty straightforward.
Extremly clear thinking here. The line about not needing to know what proportion are fetishists versus genuinely distressed is crucial. I ran into this exact dynamic at work where someone argued we need to assume good faith intentions before setting boundaries. But the boundaries exist precisely because intent is unknowable from the outside and consequences matter more. Once the line about respecting single-sex spaces gets crossed, it stops mattering why it got crossed.
This bit made me smile in particular.. (I have yet to experience even one of these myself).
"I’ve heard tell that the anguished desperation of some of these men to be seen as women has even led some of them to go so far as trying to modify their habit of interrupting and talking over women."
I work with mainly men, and of course these "dolls" are included in the workforce. These men, claiming to be women, stand out to the women. Easily identifiable. To the men, not so obvious, because it's not an evolutionary requirement for them to spot the sex that is likely to cause you harm.
It has never occurred to these male colleagues that women might feel unsafe, might expect privacy from the male gaze, might expect some dignity when undressing or dealing with leaking milk. They think the women are unkind because these cross-dressing men weren't noticeable to them, and surely only their observations matter? Why are we so annoyed, there are doors on cubicles, just be grateful you don't use urinals, they sort of look like women don't they (yet they wouldn't consider them as a sexual partner, oh no), they have women's brains, be kind. No, had enough!
As a woman who is still unable to access any official single sex rape crisis therapy, this is such a refreshing read. Women are made to feel like we’re the problem for recognising men as men. ‘The thing about men is they’re not women. So if something is for women only, it’s not for men.’ Thank you Naomi! Brilliantly expressed! ⭐️
Excellent piece Naomi. I love your analogy about being a musician.
Also spot on the mark about 'trying to modify their habit of talking over women'. A work colleague and her wife set up and ran a Lesbian support group for years. They did some fantastic work, including with younger women who were questioning and being bullied about their sexuality. It gave them a safe and supportive place to talk.
Then the men who said they were women arrived. Who were also 'lesbians' of course. Unfortunately they couldn't stop their manliness enough to not talk over and shut down the women's voices and after a while the group folded. And that's the death by a thousand cuts women suffer. That group didn't go out with a bang, it just petered out - and no-one noticed apart from the women who found safety and support there.
How did we get to this Humpty Dumptyesque trans nonsense?
How could a whole regime ascendancy that is in charge of the means of social reproduction and administration, that can be completely rational about say the environmental delinquencies of its manufacturing and mining hardware opposite numbers, be so oblysimally obtuse when it comes to its own bailiwick?
And the answer is that both the soft and hardware sides of Indulgence Capitalism (whereby circa 1970 an economy and culture of disciplined needs and wants was gradually subsumed by fantasies of desire and their immediate satisfaction, to the extent that consciousness itself became the prime output of the system across all its platforms) deregulated and privatized the system (free markets/social liberation with the responsible adult agency ripped out) to such an extent that the social and ecological commons infrastructures underpinning it were gradually destroyed.
The software and hardware platforms of the system are just as compromised and unsustainable as each other, and for exactly the same reasons. And the way that has been managed is for each side to blame shift the problem onto the other side in a Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum brawling charade that effectively neutralizes and paralyses coherent political response to what is an overall institutional crisis across the system.
The mining/manufacturing bigwigs and free market acolytes who are into denial about the rapid collapse of the global life support system are just as off with the ideological fairies as the tertiary service industry corporates and bureaucracies of social administration who think people can change sex.
Both sides have crossed the line between knowing fantasy and unknowing delusion as they increasingly fecklessly struggle to cope with & obfuscate the chaos they have and are creating around themselves, as the tragedy of the commons turns into catastrophe.
Given that trans overlaps overwhelmingly with autism, which can have some notable blind spots even with high IQ, I have seen it said, and it seems true, that if no one says anything, these guys actually think that everyone thought they were women. So y'know if any of my three 6 footer ASD/ADHD wonderful sons decided they were women, it would be my painful parental duty, and we know they wouldn't like it, to tell them that no one will ever ever think they are "really" women, in my best attempt to save them from a lifetime of confusion and potential legal and surgical horrors in pursuit of the impossible. And I would tell them to stay out of womens' spaces. In these situations cruelty and kindness swap places a bit because of the awful consequences for the guys. So parents tell your boys, nicely, but tell them, it;s your job. Thanks
I don't disagree but it is not parents job to fight the rest of society alone. There are no "allies" for non affirming parents- not in the NHS, schools universities, unions, employment or charities. None. A lot of the time parents are actually fighting schools who are affirming without their knowledge until damage is done. The internet is a nightmare for parents as it is. If you voted anything other than Tory/Reform last time, you voted for Trans rights - sorry but it's true. . Most people have no clue how hard it is to get ASD out of this rabbit hole and most of the ASD sector is "rainbow friendly". Employers sign up to Pride month like it's a religion. People clam up when non affirming is mentioned and they isolate parents who don't affirm. GPs prescribe hormones with no real understanding of the future health impact. Universities have funds for LGBTQ counselling and binders etc. Teens are encouraged to cut parents off completely of they don't affirm so you are asking parents to face the loss of their child with no support from wider society. If you want non affirming parents to have a voice then there needs to be support for them. There is none.
Well said. I wholeheartedly agree with you. A man is a man anf nothing can change that !! Thank You.
As a man, this all makes perfect sense to me. As they say: "Good guys stay out so bad guys stand out.". No excuses!
100% agree with this.
And as a slogan, Protect the Dolls is very revealing. It reveals its sissy porn foundations, that these men want to be seen as sexually embellished objects to be objectified, humiliated, abused and f***ed by other men. The meaning of Protect the Dolls is articulated best by Andrea Long Chu.
I'm with you 100% Naomi. I'm not polite when I talk about this any more and no woman would have felt bad telling men they were in the wrong place 10 or 15 years ago. It really is pretty straightforward.
Thank you for your way with words.
Thank you. Spot on.
Extremly clear thinking here. The line about not needing to know what proportion are fetishists versus genuinely distressed is crucial. I ran into this exact dynamic at work where someone argued we need to assume good faith intentions before setting boundaries. But the boundaries exist precisely because intent is unknowable from the outside and consequences matter more. Once the line about respecting single-sex spaces gets crossed, it stops mattering why it got crossed.
On fire. 💪. Thank you.
Brilliant as always 💥🎯💜
This bit made me smile in particular.. (I have yet to experience even one of these myself).
"I’ve heard tell that the anguished desperation of some of these men to be seen as women has even led some of them to go so far as trying to modify their habit of interrupting and talking over women."
All the above. Thank-you for saying it. 🥂
Whatever your reasons for cross-dressing at work, you’re going to be allowed to do it- just no, bring back the societal norms.
I work with mainly men, and of course these "dolls" are included in the workforce. These men, claiming to be women, stand out to the women. Easily identifiable. To the men, not so obvious, because it's not an evolutionary requirement for them to spot the sex that is likely to cause you harm.
It has never occurred to these male colleagues that women might feel unsafe, might expect privacy from the male gaze, might expect some dignity when undressing or dealing with leaking milk. They think the women are unkind because these cross-dressing men weren't noticeable to them, and surely only their observations matter? Why are we so annoyed, there are doors on cubicles, just be grateful you don't use urinals, they sort of look like women don't they (yet they wouldn't consider them as a sexual partner, oh no), they have women's brains, be kind. No, had enough!
As a woman who is still unable to access any official single sex rape crisis therapy, this is such a refreshing read. Women are made to feel like we’re the problem for recognising men as men. ‘The thing about men is they’re not women. So if something is for women only, it’s not for men.’ Thank you Naomi! Brilliantly expressed! ⭐️
Superb Naomi 💪👌
Excellent piece Naomi. I love your analogy about being a musician.
Also spot on the mark about 'trying to modify their habit of talking over women'. A work colleague and her wife set up and ran a Lesbian support group for years. They did some fantastic work, including with younger women who were questioning and being bullied about their sexuality. It gave them a safe and supportive place to talk.
Then the men who said they were women arrived. Who were also 'lesbians' of course. Unfortunately they couldn't stop their manliness enough to not talk over and shut down the women's voices and after a while the group folded. And that's the death by a thousand cuts women suffer. That group didn't go out with a bang, it just petered out - and no-one noticed apart from the women who found safety and support there.
How did we get to this Humpty Dumptyesque trans nonsense?
How could a whole regime ascendancy that is in charge of the means of social reproduction and administration, that can be completely rational about say the environmental delinquencies of its manufacturing and mining hardware opposite numbers, be so oblysimally obtuse when it comes to its own bailiwick?
And the answer is that both the soft and hardware sides of Indulgence Capitalism (whereby circa 1970 an economy and culture of disciplined needs and wants was gradually subsumed by fantasies of desire and their immediate satisfaction, to the extent that consciousness itself became the prime output of the system across all its platforms) deregulated and privatized the system (free markets/social liberation with the responsible adult agency ripped out) to such an extent that the social and ecological commons infrastructures underpinning it were gradually destroyed.
The software and hardware platforms of the system are just as compromised and unsustainable as each other, and for exactly the same reasons. And the way that has been managed is for each side to blame shift the problem onto the other side in a Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum brawling charade that effectively neutralizes and paralyses coherent political response to what is an overall institutional crisis across the system.
The mining/manufacturing bigwigs and free market acolytes who are into denial about the rapid collapse of the global life support system are just as off with the ideological fairies as the tertiary service industry corporates and bureaucracies of social administration who think people can change sex.
Both sides have crossed the line between knowing fantasy and unknowing delusion as they increasingly fecklessly struggle to cope with & obfuscate the chaos they have and are creating around themselves, as the tragedy of the commons turns into catastrophe.